Okay…….

When I finally started feeling well enough to venture outdoors Tuesday afternoon Mother Nature obliged by bringing us rain and wind but at least it ain’t snow and I was out of the house! My elation was short lived.

When I stepped on the top tread of the porch steps my foot nearly slid out from under me on the slick wooden surface. The accident that left me disabled involved this same porch and the same steps although I wasn’t tripping over a dog lead this time. Still, it caught my attention as that fall replayed inside my headbone.

Once my heart rate returned to normal and my knees stopped shaking I pried my hands off the rail and returned to the safety of my La-Z-Boy, picked up the laptop and Goggled non-slip treads. Finding them at a good price was easy. Placing the order was also easy. According to the installation instructions installing them will also be easy. WOO-HOO, 3 for 3!

The next morning I found an e-mail in my inbox telling me the package was on the way and it included the usual tracking number. This is where things get screwy.

Knoxville, Tennessee, where the package shipped from, is about 180 miles southwest of us. If you get on Interstate 81 North in Knoxville you can be here in about 3 hours unless you drive like me. If you drive like me you would either A) get here considerably sooner or B) get here in about the same time after having at least one conversation with a law enforcement professional.

This is the latest tracking information on my package.

Information about shipment

Ship Carrier: FedEx Tracking Number: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Status: In transit Order #: XXX-XXXXXXX-XXXXXXX Shipment Date: January 24, 2012 Destination: WYTHEVILLE, VA, US Estimated Arrival: January 31, 2012

Track your package

Date Time Location Event Details January 27, 2012 07:31:00 PM Charlotte NC US Arrival Scan January 27, 2012 06:35:56 AM Nashville TN US Departure Scan January 27, 2012 02:08:00 AM Nashville TN US Arrival Scan January 26, 2012 10:07:43 PM Knoxville TN US Departure Scan January 26, 2012 07:51:00 PM Knoxville TN US Arrival Scan January 26, 2012 06:45:00 PM Knoxville TN US Shipment received by carrier January 24, 2012 06:20:00 PM US Shipment has left seller facility and is in transit

Something tells me at least one US Government agency and/or Gilligan and the Skipper is involved in this because nobody else could do something quite this stupid. The package has travelled in the wrong direction, not once but  twice………so far. Three days to make a 3 hour trip and the adventure continues.

I won’t be the least bit surprised tomorrow if I discover it has arrived safely in Pittsburg……or Detroit……..or King Salmon, Alaska.

I hope the virus doesn’t come back, again, before the treads arrive. With my luck the worst blizzard in 50 years will roll in just as I open the package and the treads won’t get installed until the thaw…….in July.

We shall see………….